This was the week

this was the week i was supposed to be due with our 3rd baby.  i still think about our baby often...especially this week.  today in the mail i received a letter from my insurance in michigan reminding me my baby was due this month and that i needed to report when s/he was born.  i cried.  even though i know God had a plan for this, even though we have another baby on the way now, even though i lost that baby so early....i still wanted and loved THAT baby with all my heart.  i still wonder what it would have been like...wonder if the baby was a boy or a girl...wonder, wonder, wonder...

i'm so glad for God's love and comfort in times of hurt, grief and confusion.  i know i couldn't make it through this without HIM.  and i'm so thankful for my husband, who grieves with me and feels the loss as much as i do.  and i'm also thankful for my friends and family who've been there for us...especially those who have walked this road as well.  thank you for being there for us.  i know i will never forget my baby...i know the sadness will always be there, but i also know the scripture in lamentations is true.  "because of the Lord's great love we are not consumed, for his compassions never fail.  they are new every morning; great is your faithfulness." (lamentations 3:22-23).

thanks for listening (or should i say reading?).  i'll be trying to post my 10 smiles on time this week, along with a few other things (including a little bloggy award given to me by amanda that i have yet to pass on!).